SideBear: This is reprint of an article from several years ago because we get new calendars every year and April 15 never goes away and some things never change!
I read somewhere recently that January 23rd is the highest day of the year for people committing suicide and they attributed it to glooming weather in the middle of winter. The date might be right but I think the reason is wrong.
The real reason for “National Suicide Day” is as the calendar turns over to a new year we are all faced with that inevitable day coming on April 15th when we, the hard working citizens see a large portion of our earnings confiscated by the Federal Government.
As faith would have it I finally decided one cold dreary day last week (the week of January 23rd) to start the needless never ending accumulation of paperwork to try and figure out how many pounds of flesh they are going to extract from this tired old body as a form of ransom to leave me alone for another year.
To add insult to injury, this dutiful peasant just sent the IRS a quarterly payment the previous week which was due on the 15th. This was right after I paid the Credit Card Queen’s Christmas bills for which she always has a stock answer, “Look all the points I get for you so you can get free airline tickets.” The only problem with that is I can’t afford the cab fare to get to the airport.
Be that as it may, I bit my upper lip and locked myself in humble 2 x 4 office and decided it was time to face reality. As I was sipping on a cup of coffee I tuned in C-Span (Mr. Excitement’s favorite TV show) and there was a helium filled overblown Senator Kennedy having a purple rage fit exclaiming, “How much of our money do you Republican’s want?” (This tirade was in the course of a Senate debate over the minimum wage bill.)
No Senator, this is not your money, this money belongs to the hardworking taxpaying citizens of the United States and the United States Treasury is only the custodian of said funds. I know it is your position, Senator that all money belongs to the government and you allow us to keep enough to sustain ourselves to perform our menial work tasks so that we may pay again another day as the dutiful servants that we are. But No Senator! It is the people’s money.
This tirade gave me a Defcon 4 migraine headache on National Suicide Day as I started to think about my upcoming tax obligations, March 1st the first installment of my real estate taxes are due for the honor of living in my humble abode, on March 15th Illinois replacement taxes are due for what I sold, replace what? I could never figure out the justification for this tax, on April 15th another quarterly payment is due and of course the final settlement for D-Day 2006 is also due.
My migraine just moved up to Defcon 6 as I feel like I am walking through a mine field of taxes as I realized the government is getting more than half of the money I busted my butt to earn last year! Now it my turn to have a purple rage fit…
Why is The Taxman, who assumes no risks, entitled to more than half of my hard earned money? What has The Man contributed to my business for his share? Absolutely nothing! Matter of fact the Man is an impediment to the success of this business with his needless rules and regulations.
And the final humiliation comes on April 15th when you sign your 1040 U.S. Individual Tax Return; in the small print just above your signature is the following statement.
“Under penalties of perjury, I declare that I have examined this tax return and the accompanying schedules and statements, and to the best of my knowledge and belief, they are true, correct, and complete.”
Do they honesty think that I have read the more than 9,000,000 words in the tax code which in itself is a contradiction from beginning to end and is designed to make a felon out of everyone.
The statement should be amended to say, I have No Clue To What I Signed! So if you want to hang me go ahead but remember for every peasant you hang that is one less peon to collect from.
There has to be a better way, maybe its time for another Boston Tea Party and let’s spike the tea this time. And how is your day going?1040 U.S. Individual Tax Return