Subject: An Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense
lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn)

and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common
Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student, but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home with out the burglar suing you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her
lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, by
his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason. He
is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights; I Want It Now;
Someone Else Is To Blame; and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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